Short update on Oma An

I spoke briefly to Ingrid and to my brother-in-law, Reinier, this afternoon. Their mother slept pretty well the entire time that they were there today. A very old family friend from South Africa days, Father Jan Haen, visited and gave Oma the last sacraments. He was chaplain of the Catholic Student Society when Ingrid was at Pretoria University.

Reinier described to me a particularly poignant moment yesterday when his daughter, Maya, stroked Oma's arm and said, "Hello Oma." She opened her eyes and gave Maya the most beautiful smile and then closed her eyes again. Everyone was in tears.

Ingrid will be flying back to Canada tomorrow.

News from Ingrid in Holland

If you have not read the blog since before Wednesday and do not know that my mother-in-law is seriously ill then do some catch-up and read Wednesday's blog (Oma not well) before proceeding with this one.

I spoke to Ingrid today by phone and she said that Mom's health had deteriorated discernably from the day before when she had made it clear that she was pleased to see Ingrid and Reinier - not that she explicitly recognised them but somehow she knew these were somehow "close" to her. Today she ate nothing and the only moisture went and stayed in her very dry mouth - she swallowed next to nothing, if anything, and often pushed Reinier's hand away when he tried to get her to take more. Mom is sleeping a lot. If she is woken by the nursing staff when they turn her over it is evident that she is in a lot of pain though nobody knows where in her body the pain is - one can only surmise she must have a terrible headache, at a minimum, both from the fever and the dehydration. Today the doctor started putting her on a low dose of morphine. It is very likely that her kidneys are starting to close down. There seems to be little sense in sticking needles into her to do blood tests that will do little more than satisfy curiosity. At this point I am praying for a "happy" death, as Catholics put it.

Opa is resigned to the fact that his wife has given up the fight and does not want to see the pain prolonged artificially. Anyway, Mom would rip out any drips that anybody tried to insert into her. Ingrid and her brothers feel the same as Opa. (For South Africans who are wondering about the spelling of Oma and Opa, I am not making a mistake. This is the Dutch spelling for the Afrikaans Ouma en Oupa - Grandma and Grampa.)

Ingrid's brother, Jeroen, also has a blog. To read his account, follow the link to Update Oma.

Oma not well

Yesterday evening (Tuesday) Ingrid had a call from her brother Vincent who lives in Holland to say that her mother was seriously ill. Ingrid's mom (aka. Ann or Oma) has fairly advanced senile dementia (not Alzheimer's) and is in a home for special care. Apparently she acquired a bladder infection and then refused to cooperate with the medical treatment that was needed. Now the fear is that she is giving up the will to live, frequently refusing food and drink, and getting dangerously dehydrated and weak on top of the fluctuating fever from the infection. Ingrid and I went down to Flight Centre last night and booked a return flight for her to Amsterdam. She flew out this afternoon and will be returning to Toronto next Wednesday. Reinier, the eldest of the three brothers, flew in from Scotland this afternoon. I spoke to Jeroen, the third brother, earlier this evening. He visited Mom this afternoon and while there she took a little yoghurt and fruit. She spent a lot of the time sleeping.

The picture was taken two years ago when Oma and Opa last visited us in Canada. Click to enlarge.

Only one more to go

All the previous chemo's were done sitting up on a Lazy Boy type reclining chair but after last time's "knock-out" and the discomfort of sitting when she felt like sleeping, Judith asked if she could use one of the beds this time. The result was that she slept through most of the infusion which was pretty uneventful. There is now only one more chemo session to go, in two weeks time, and after that the tests to assess the effectiveness of the treatment program - another Gallium and CT Scan. Your continued prayers are really appreciated.


On Tuesday and Thursday Judith played field hockey for the school and their team won both matches. The Thursday game was rather tough and close, taking revengeful pleasure in a 1-0 win over the school that beat them in a shootout in last year's final. Thursday's game was a quarter-final so now they are in the semi's. Click on the picture to enlarge. It's a bit blurry - but then I didn't take the picture :-)


Watching Judith play on Tuesday was her godmother from South Africa, Pat Prinsloo. Pat has been with family and friends in California, Colorado and Washington State and came to us last Saturday. Ingrid and I said goodbye to her at Toronto's Pearson Airport at 4:15 AM on Thursday morning - barely 5 hours after a great farewell dinner at Al Gonquin's restaurant where Judith used to be a server. They still remember her there and gave her an employee discount!

Update from Quebec

...not Quebec City but a place called Shefford in Quebec Province where an old friend of mine, Clement, has a house in beautiful rural surroundings forty-five minutes west of Montreal on the A10. Without going into details, Clem and I were student friends in South Africa going back to the late Sixties. I have just come back from Sherbrooke where I enjoyed a reunion with two other French Canadian friends we both have in common, both Catholic priests, Fathers Robert and Jean-Claude, Mariannhill Fathers. Jean-Claude and Clem I last saw about four years ago when Ingrid, Stephen, Judith and I spent a week based at a resort in Magog, not far from Sherbrooke. At that time Fr. Jean-Claude took us to Quebec City where we spent two wonderful days as he showed us around - and handled all French communication on our behalf!! It was like two days in Europe.

This time I left the rest of the family at home and drove over mainly to see Fr Robert whom I had not seen in over thirty years. He is in Sherbrooke on holiday from Kenya where he is Superior at the Mariannhill House of studies in Nairobi. We had a great time talking about `the old days`.

This evening Clem and I are going to a local restaurant to have some popotte Québécoise.

Thanksgiving

Judith tried something new: no IV hydration. The home nurse suggested she try it - rather pace herself with taking sufficient water by mouth at frequent and regular intervals over the day. Ingrid or I woke her up from time to time and told her to drink and she did so diligently. It worked out fine and she will probably do the same next time.

This last weekend was the Thanksgiving long weekend in Canada. We had our dinner on Sunday evening. Stephen had bussed in from Kingston but Miriam had gone to Ottawa with a friend. Mark and Luisa also joined us. Sean had to work.


During the meal we took turns to tell of some of the things we gave thanks for in the past year. Some that I recall: lots about jobs - my job, Ingrid's job, Stephen's summer job opportunity just past, Mark's opportunity to work in Holland for a year, Sean's job opportunity in Whistler; that Mark and Luisa met 11 months ago; Judith expressed the "up" side to not going to university this year - opportunity to improve grades and broaden university options and courses next year; and we are all very grateful for the Canadian healthcare system (imperfect as it may be) that has been providing Judith with such excellent care.


Judith went to bed early. The rest of us spent the evening chatting, reading, laughing at peculiar customs of our various nationalities, playing Mario Brothers on Mark's laptop, playing "Sets". Luisa whipped the lot of us into turkeyland.


Soon after Sean came home we received a phone call from Pat Prinsloo (Judith's godmother) phoning from Marius & Janet in Seattle. Here he is talking to "Onnie Pat"

Click on the images to enlarge.

Just Two Sessions Left

Field hockey was a bit of a disappointment for Judith this last week. She was only on for about five minutes and then had to ask the coach to take her off. To add salt to the wound their team narrowly lost by one goal.

On Friday she had her chemo - only two more to go after this. They started off by giving her a strong shot of some relaxant to prevent the rigors that she suffered the last time. This left Judith pretty dopey and sleepy so she did not provide much by way of entertainment while the infusions were going on even though Ingrid, Miriam, Mark and I were all there at some point over the four hours. The relaxant had the desired effect, and everything went without a hitch this time. Visitors had to entertain themselves...

Then at five o'clock I was down at Scarborough town centre bus station to pick up Stephen and his girlfriend, Heather. Steve has come in from Kingston, ON (Queen's University) to spend Thanksgiving weekend with us. I managed to get some pics of him and Heather on Friday night before Heather's mom arrived from Penetanguishene where they have a farm in the area.


Click on the pictures to enlarge.

Camping Pics - Finally

We finally got the film developed from the camping trip that Judith had with her friends, Hannah, Jeanine and Melissa at the beginning of August at The Pinery Provincial Park on Lake Huron. To view the album click on the link on the left.

It was a poignant moment for me a few weeks back when Judith's friend, Kristin, came to say goodbye to Judith prior to leaving for university and I realised we were at the end of an era. I also felt extremely grateful for the truly wonderful friends that Judith has had in the last couple of years in high school - friends who have been simply amazing in their support for Judith over the last 6 months. It is not for me to name them. I have only met a few of them anyway. They and Judith know who they are and most of them don't even read this blog. :-) But I do thank God for them all and pray his blessing for them.